Good Heat

By Derek Ahlswede Opinion Writer


New York!

New York?

New York: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Welp. I’m proud of what Bernie and his supporters have done. It was a long-awaited light on the left and a huge success. Good job, guys and gals. That’s how money in politics should work in the democratic internet age.

Our economy is created and defined by us, and all U.S. kids need to go to college to help define it better. That and our energy and penal system. And a bunch of other stuff. Wars. Wars are a big one.

Hillary has her issues around special interests, and transparency, and war. I won’t defend these things, but I think she has the potential to be a very good President despite them. She has the potential to be very good because very good experience is very good. I know it’s confusing. More on it later.

There’s nothing more entertaining in the world now than watching Congressional Repubs block a non-white male POTUS. It’s riveting. I’ve missed it so bad the past couple years. Fuck it, I’m using the magic remote I found under a sidewalk tree outside Sony Studios in 2006 to fast forward to 2017 right now. Shot out Culver City!

Hillary will take a different approach than Barack. Barack’s approach was, “ya’ll are idiots. I’m not giving you anything.” This is kind of the untalked about thing by Dems regarding Congressional Repub obstruction. Barack wouldn’t budge, and he treated them like idiots. Whether he should have or not is a fun discussion.

Hillary will get criticized from all directions for the deals she brokers, but she will get more passed than Barack, and it will be good for the middle class. This is the sentence that makes both Fox News and Reddit faces explode. What if we had no biological governor for blood to the face? It just rushes until BLAM, all over your new Brooks Brothers or fedora brim. Fresh out the dry cleaner or your mom’s dryer. Anyway, I’m excited to see what happens in Hillary’s first term.

If what Bernie and his supporters did results in a Warren ticket, my face won’t explode, but I will dance around my living room. It won’t be a conscious decision. It’s just what my body does when my mind gets excited.

Thanks, Bern, for bringing that good heat.



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